Thoughts on To a Girl of 11 from Sacred Subjects

CW: child sexual abuse, incest, rape culture

For a small book – a booklet, really – To a Girl of Eleven has given me a large number of thoughts, none of them good. For those who are not aware, To a Girl of Eleven is a part of a series of books, The Sacred Subjects, written by an anonymous Amish minister. Although almost all of the books are meant for young couples and parents, To a Girl of Eleven is meant to be shared with a young girl, as she turns 11 and begins to enter puberty.

I think it is important to share that I discovered the existence of Sacred Subjects because it is a recommended resource in a book co-authored by a liberal Mennonite social work professor currently starting an MSW program at Goshen College, Dr. Jeanette Harder. The book, which is co-authored with an Old Order Mennonite, is written for Plain audiences, and it is not readily available for people outside of Plain communities.

While discussing the fact that this book recommends unlicensed facilities for the “treatment” (very, very loosely defined) of sex offenders, the topic of Sacred Subjects, especially To a Girl of Eleven came up, and…whew…I can’t imagine what would possess a licensed social worker – one responsible for training future social workers – to recommend this series of booklets.

To start, To a Girl of Eleven has some rather questionable information about puberty and reproduction. It is, after all, likely written by an Amish minister, who likely only has an 8th grade education that did not emphasize science or biology. However, the biggest issue is that it absolutely places the responsibility of not being raped by a man on an 11-year-old girl…and follows that up by saying it is also the responsibility of an 11-year-old girl to not tempt her older brother to rape her as well.

Let’s start with the beginning of page 15, where the author(s) state that the 11-year old girl has no need to have great fear (maybe a little fear is OK?) of men – so long as they dress and behave modestly, do not go out alone in public places, and pray to God to protect them at all times. What if they are raped while outside at school? What if they are assaulted as they walk to a neighbor’s home? What if they are assaulted IN a neighbor’s home? Did they spend too much time outside in public?

Did they not dress modestly enough? (A review of the “What They Were Wearing” clothing project nixes that, by the way.)

Did they not pray hard enough? To place that type of blame on an 11-year-old should be considered a sin. Telling a child that what has happened to them is because they did not pray hard enough takes every ounce of responsibility off of the grown adult who has done something wrong and puts it on a child…a child who has no way of proving they were praying. This, by the way, is circular logic that a child will always lose.

“You were assaulted because you were not praying hard enough.”

“But, I did pray!”

“Obviously not enough, because you were assaulted.”

So, this booklet, recommended by a licensed social worker not only places all responsibility for NOT being assaulted on an 11-year old girl, it argues that it is the responsibility of an 11-year-old child to control the actions of a grown man. If she isn’t able to do that, then it is her fault if she is assaulted. She is an immodest girl who dared be alone too long and didn’t pray to God enough. Can you imagine the fear this would place on a child, especially a child raised in a conservative, religious community? This is practically like telling a raped child they are going to hell for being raped. It doesn’t quite say that…but another paragraph on that same page basically does.

Here, the young girl is charged with ensuring the purity of her teen brother(s). Decent girls are the ones that live their entire lives focused on not making their brothers lust after them or assault them. As the author(s) say, EVEN AT HOME, a girl must constantly be on alert to make sure that an older boy or man is not driven to assault them because they have not been modest enough.

So, in this case, the child is told that incest, that being assaulted by an older brother is their fault. Telling a child that what has happened to them is because they made their older brother lust after them takes every ounce of responsibility off of the older brother who has done something wrong and puts it on a child…a child who has no way of proving they were “decent” or “modest”. This, by the way, is circular logic that a child will always lose.

“You were assaulted because you made your brother lust after you.”

“But, I was modest all the time and didn’t climb ladders around him!”

“Obviously you were not modest enough, because you were assaulted.”

The child – the girl of 11 – is deemed capable of seducing men and older boys by a lack of modesty at home, by climbing ladders, by not praying enough, and by being alone. The men and older boys are completely blameless here; their responsibility is completely given over to a child. This book(let) is an explicit example of victim blaming. It also completely normalizes incest and child abuse as something that happens when a child is not “modest” or “decent” enough.

No one with any understanding of sexual abuse should be recommending such a book. The fact that a licensed social worker is doing so is unconscionable.